Complain and follow up

Talk to colleagues

It is a good idea to talk to other people if you can. It is always easier to complain together than alone, and your complaint will have more force. 

Define the problem and the solution

The first thing to do is to be clear what the problem is and what you want the solution to be. Don’t try to land the whole of the gender wars on someone’s plate!

• Do you just want an apology?
• Do you want a particular problem to be solved? 
• Do you want to raise a general issue to help an organisation understand why sex matters? 
• Do you want to let an organisation know that their policy risks unlawful conduct? 

Talk in person or on the phone

If you have a specific problem it can be worth trying to sort it out informally first. Work out the correct person or department to contact, and clearly and politely explain the problem, and the resolution you seek. You can do this in person, by email or on the phone. 

1. Make a note of what you want to cover beforehand.
2. Get the name of the person you’re speaking to.
3. Be polite – a bit of praise can go a long way.
4. At the end of the conversation, repeat back anything you have agreed, and ask for their email address.
5. Make a note of who you spoke to, what was said and what you agreed.
6. Send an email confirming this.

Send more information

If the person you speak to engages constructively but doesn’t understand the issue you may want to share relevant Sex Matters resources with them:

Escalate

If the person you speak to is not the decision-maker you may need to escalate it up the organisation. Ask who best to speak to. 

If the informal approach doesn’t work you can start a formal complaint (or grievance at work) using the organisation’s process. Ask for details of the complaints procedure or look on the website for it. 

Whistleblowing

If you think your employer is breaching its legal obligation for health and safety, you might want to raise the problem under your organisation’s whistleblowing policy (sometimes called a “speak up” policy). The charity Protect has free advice for whistleblowers, including information about protected disclosures.  

Make a formal complaint

Collect all the evidence together and put your complaint in writing. If others share your concern, consider making the complaint collectively. 

Focus on:

1. Explaining the problem. 
2. Identifying how this has impacted you or other people.
3. Saying what you want the organisation to do to put things right.

Collecting evidence

You don’t have to send a lot of evidence, but it is good to keep it all together. 

• Keep notes of any telephone calls including the name of the person you spoke to.
• Save screenshots of anything that happens on social media. 
• Keep texts and emails. 

Writing the complaint

• Try to keep it focused and brief: be clear about the facts.
• Use numbered lists and headings to make things clear.
• Keep your tone objective and factual; avoid inflammatory language. 
• Be clear what you are asking for – do you want an apology, compensation, a change in policy or something else? 
• Were you harmed by the policy, or do you just want to warn them of the legal risk?
• Double-check that you have covered everything you want to say: get a friend to check what you have written, or use AI. 

Use Sex Matters’ template emails: 

Complaining about inaccurate media coverage? Read our advice:

Concerned about a school policy? Use our school check tool to build your complaint:

Be persistent. You may need to follow up or escalate your complaint.